Night of the long knives v2.0

Ernst Röhm learned the hard way about wanting too much too soon in front of his master. The Night of the Long Knives was the Nazi blood purge of 1934 whereby Röhm was done in by his own naked ambition running counter to the machinations of Hitler's other two henchmen, Himmler and Goering. Those two sought to discredit Röhm and undermine his contributions to the Reich which were substantial. He created the infamous Brown Shirts. Soon enough, Hitler broke with one of his earliest and arguably closest minions and even lead the purge personally, pistol in hand.

Trump doesn't have that in him. The actual chutzpah and cojones for getting his hands dirty. They're too small and coated in Teflon. Makes it hard for him to hold chopsticks much less a firearm, I'm told. Melania likes to feed him spaghetti while wearing a clear plastic raincoat. And nothing else. I've heard she insisted on the raincoat ever since 2010 after his ass fell. 

We all need to thank the Almighty for Trump. Not in the rabid MAGA sense but rather in understanding that this guy is dangerous but could be a whole lot worse if he were truly intelligent. If Machiavelli understood it five hundred years ago then we should take solace. By which I mean if we judge the Prince by the people he gathers around him then VOILA! Trump surrounds himself with sycophants, true-believers and KoolAid swilling wannabes. I heard they keep one of those old-timey self-serve KoolAid Machines just inside the foyer of the White House. I think it helps to hammer a shot before entering the residence.

So if by that measurement purveyed by the famous Florentine political baller then it could be much worse say if the shill or be killed blondie behind the press room podium was actually a Goebbels we'd be in deep doodoo. If Hegseth were a Goering we'd be in deeper and if Tulsi Gabbard were a Himmler, we'd be so screwed it brings a chill to this old warm heart. So take heart, NONE of these are anything like the aforementioned Nazis. Not that they don't wannabe...

The clown car is on fire...

Has anyone in a MAGA hat ever smelled burning plastic? If they had they'd have noticed that the clown car is on fire and the driver is busy elsewhere. Perhaps preening for the cameras? Oh sure, he has a man-date (sounds a little queer to me) from all the little people. Riiiiiiight. Thankfully, it's fastened to the top of a blood-red velvet pillow placed upon a gilded kneeling bench. Really is quite ceremonious. 

It looks like a cock ring but actually it is an 18k gilt piston ring from a Soviet-era Lada sedan. It was a gift from his special comrade. Vlad had it made just for him. For those unfamiliar with the Lada, it had a tiny engine. Little engine little piston rings. But this one is an all-in-one surveillance tool with a hidden 4K camera-microphone and a GPS locator. Trump keeps it on the credenza behind the Resolute desk for when important stuff happens. Like taking a blow torch to the world economy or stripping people of their rights and citizenship for not voting for him.

So let's see what else this POTUS has done in his first (er uh 2nd) hundred days compliments of the NYT.

The Trump Administration’s First 100 Days

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• Framing the Past by Erasing Parts of It: As the Trump administration pulls government websites and data offline, it is selectively stripping away the public record, letting President Trump declare his own version of history, archivists and historians said.

• Weakened Cyber defenses, Rising Danger: The firing of the head of the National Security Agency was only the latest move that has eroded the country’s fortifications against cyberattacks, especially those targeting elections.

• Loomer’s Role in Firings: The firing of national security officials on the advice of Laura Loomer, a far-right agitator and conspiracy theorist, unsettled even some veteran Trump officials. In his second term, the president has fewer people around him who try to keep dubious sources away.

• Anti-Trump Protests: Demonstrators packed the streets in several cities to bemoan what they considered a lack of strong opposition to the president and his policies.

• Department of Homeland Publicity: A cabinet member’s social feed is one example of the administration’s turn to reality-TV tactics — slick, showy, sometimes cruel — as a means of government.

•  Lab Tracking Rising S.T.I.s Shuttered: Drug-resistant gonorrhea, a form of the widespread sexually transmitted infection, is considered an urgent health threat worldwide. The United States has just lost its ability to detect it.

• Law Firms Back Perkins Coie in Fight: More than 500 law firms signed a so-called friend of the court brief that was filed on behalf of Perkins Coie, the first firm to receive an executive order restricting its business.

• Medical Research Funding: A federal judge permanently barred the Trump administration from limiting funding from the National Institutes of Health that supports research at universities and academic medical centers, but it set up an almost certain appeal.

  Cue Louis Armstrong's A Wonderful World...