Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Come, pick my lettuce, now go home!



I am lucky.  Lucky enough to be the umpteenth grandchild to a family with roots planted here over one hundred fifty years ago.  Lucky enough to qualify me as native.  But where’s the cutoff?  How much time in-country does one have to spend to be considered native?  Most of us were born here and that usually suffices.  Ask a real native American and you might get an education. 

Suffice to say, we all hail from somewhere.  Might as well be where we were born, right?  Nowadays some say that’s not enough.  Think: birthers and the funny-haired rich guy behind that particular bowel movement.  Fun fun.  Think: renewing your driver’s license even after living in your state for the past forty years.  More fun.

How many of us really believe that in order to quell the touted tsunami of undesirables into our fair land that all we have to do is build a barrier between us and the more southerly regions of our shared incontinence.  Really? 

France tried that after World War I.  The wisdom of the French was to plant a line of big guns in the ground and point them at Germany.  Quite an imposing sight, I imagine.  If you enjoy grand symbols of massive FAILURE!  When the time came, the little corporal and company ignored the Maginot Line altogether leaving the lonely Frenchmen to polish their big guns while they goose-stepped down the Champs-Élysées.  The Nazis simply reached around through Belgium to the north and through the Ardennes in the south.  What were the Frogs thinking?  That their language-in-common friends to the north could wave off Stukas with what—dark chocolate?  That trees wouldn’t yield to fifty-four ton Tiger tanks?

It took me five minutes on Bing to illuminate our situation.  We have over 82,835 miles of coastline guarded by satellite surveillance and the Coast Guard.  With only 41,000 members, that means every uniform in the service would have to patrol two miles of coastline each, 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, with no smoke breaks.  This fact alone makes the über fence along the 1,869 mile border with Mexico a colossal example of American duplicity.  I mean, I really do enjoy my fruits and veggies on the cheap.

For many ‘Muricans, the complaint is, “They’re here to steal our jobs.”  Maybe a homegrown worker has been displaced by an illegal immigrant but I’ve never seen one.  But then again, I have never seen a unicorn either but my eight year old daughter assures me…

The self-righteous always pound the notion of legality but I wager no law ever filled an empty belly and no electrified razor wire topped fence will ever keep a good parent from trying to feed their hungry children.  The people that come here are not the bomb toting job stealing bad guys we imagine, but rather people who’ve heard of a place where they cannot only survive but thrive by the sweat of their brow if they will only make the crossing.  They don’t want state welfare, they want a chance, and who are we to deny them? 

Immigrants, that’s who.

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